Human behaviors are affected by many
dimensions. Social environment is one dimension that affects our behavior
including the way we see our life. In this article “I don’t fear dead body
anymore”, I have written about my fear to dead body in my childhood because of
our superstitious culture. Most importantly, it covers important incident at
hospital where I learnt to handle my fear of dead body.
“I don’t fear dead body anymore”.
I am born in remote, a very remote village of
Monger. Our villagers are so superstitious that they refuse to take modern
health facilities. The villagers are conditioned to believe that when someone die,
his/her soul is taken by the local deities. Then villagers would start to get
scared of the dead body because we believe that we might encounter a dead
person in the form of a ghost. Anybody who is born into our village would learn
to adapt such myths from childhood and I got no exception. I was grown up
fearing to do my toilet without my youngest uncle of mine. It was one day when
my parents have left to attain the funeral of my neighbor. I was left home
alone with my youngest uncle. And I remember sleeping with him on that night
where my sleep had been disturbed by freaking sound of catfight in the middle
of the night. As I open my eyes, I could not find my uncle. I was again left
alone. I remember myself struggling to
choose between crying and shouting. At that movement, I thought if I had the
power to disappear because I started feeling like a group of ghosts has
surrounded me. Moreover, my eyes started seeing my neighbor's uncle among them.
I was scared to death and nothing was helpful for me at that movement. I
remember curling myself inside the blanket and forcefully closing my eyes until
I heard my mother calling me to pass her torch.
I have grown up fearing such things until my mother was admitted to
It was during April, 2019 when my mother got
dermatitis and admitted to Mongar hospital.
I was on vacation after class 12 and I was doing a temporary job at
Wangdue. On that particular day, I received a call from my mother informing me
about her situation. I attended to her as soon as I heard that she was
admitted. I had to stay in hospital for almost two months. In the hospital, I experienced a lot of new
things. I used to see patients admitting
to hospital and leaving the world the next day. As always, I have struggled for
the first few weeks but later I realized that it is a never-ending process.
When I was in the hospital, I had a friend who was admitted on the same day
when my mother got admitted. At first, I have seen her health was improving
until one day when she was sick again. It was during our fourth week of stay
when she was sick again. I remember seeing her eyes turned to yellow and she
could barely open her mouth. The doctor inserted a pipe into her for food and
breath. After five days of feeding through the pipe, a doctor informed them
that she stops breathing. Instead of fearing her body at that time, I was sad
and started missing her. I wished for seeing her again.
Therefore I feel that the environment we live in affects
our cognitive development. After
experiencing the hospital scene, I became spiritually strong. I now can accept
that everyone has to leave the world. Similarly, I came to know that the dead
are to be experienced by everyone and the reality of all living beings. After
seeing many people dying frequently, I was used to it and now I do not fear
dead bodies anymore. I even went to guard the
body of my neighbor before his funeral. And I strongly believe that I was able
to change the way I think about the dead body because of my experience in the
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